The Columnist Manifest(Destiny)o

I'm going to try to begin at the beginning; but it's hard. All my friends/family have been trying to slow me down, slow me down. But I've been unable to. Because I'm afraid of sleep. Because when you sleep, you don't really know what happens, right? REM? To me, that's Shiny Happy People. And I'm already Happy and I already like People, and if I shower and have 15 minutes to prepare, I'm shiny; sort of. But I'm not sure what R.E.M. really even stands for. Random Enadulterated Memories? Real Enveloped Moments? Repressed Emotional (Land)Mines? Maybe. For now, I'll except (e) all of the above. Even if I don't know the choices. Title 4 benefits? Sure? One easy l__n or monthly payments? Sure. I'll take it all.

Some people think I'm pretty random. And I admit, I have the symptoms of ADD, AdvancedADD, UltraADD, IncredibleADD, all the way down and around ExcellentADD. But I figured it out; I don't. I'm just bored. I've been bored with life and my situation so I keep skipping around. Flitting in and out. I'm not flakey; I'm flighty. JY99 knows. I think. Or maybe she doesn't; I hope she knows. Sorry to miss your wedding; it was for a legitimate reason, I was working. Really. But hey, go #21, go TD, go the guy who should have been the next great Celtic center. Oh well. We don't need #17 yet; I finally have patience. I have all the time in the world to see eleven rings (or twelve even?) on PP's fingers - or the ONE ring. I know this because his nickname is the Truth; and that was given to him by the greatest nickname giver in all the (NBA) land: The Big Aristotle. Call him what you will, but The Daddy is the ultimate mystery, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped around an enigma. Then all of that is wrapped with a bacon wrapped; late night; delicious but you'll hate it tomorrow three-dollar 320+ lb (or something) body of destruction. Superman; TWISM; get out of the lane. "Dunk on them." Even Mt Mutombo. Powda? You with me? You always were. Keep listening; thanks for being there when I woke up. Rip Van Winkle. Did I snore?

This Force of Nature (green card, 8 mana) -- otherwise known as a Magic, a Laker, a Heat -- isn't tired or thinking of retiring; he's just picking his moments now. Just like a typhoon and Katrina. They know when they'll make the biggest impact; the question is really, do we know? Even with all of our science and intelligence, we have no idea. The lesson: never underestimate Father Nature; or Mother Time. Or Brother/Sister whatever. Don't mess; it's 2 much excess. Family Matters; in any shape form, color, or frequency. Green = Been There Town = Tatties = Aim Away Messages = the David/Rich Attenborough animal game. Should I go on? Monkey? Laser?

Does he (who?)? Does he who is/was Austin Powers know/knew? Check the tape; MM had no idea. That's why I don't like you Mike. Never did; never got it -- and obviously; never did you. Dana was the real Wally World. Not you. You're just badly disguised and got some people to laugh -- even people who's taste I trust[ed]. I've never laughed at you. And I hope to never will. That's not an insult; that's just a matter of taste.

No -ed, -er, double words in what? Squabble. I suck at squat and squabble; it's true. But I think; I'm good at making you like it; so you'll play with me. I understand that now. And Amoeboid; or whatever shape you decide to take today. I'll offer this: Thanks, I'm sorry, Thanks, Thanks, and more thanks. And then, another one. I'll see you in AA; I'll see you anywhere. e to what? I go e5; you? I wish I was to hang out with the Mormons and the Jazz. Saw the OF video; awesome fun. Let's go ride again. All chained up; all loving it; all together. Wanna play ________ ? Bebe Swan too. Let's play.

Here's my HoF: Earvin, Air J, LB23 - The King, Larry Legend, Shaq Fu-Snickens.

Bench? Maybe Isaiah-Mary'sSon (i hate him but he's that good), Mailman and UPS, Da Kid, Matrix, AK47 - get better man, J Smoove, AudiTThomas Turbo Edition, Human Highlight Reel, Iceman, any Celtic, any Celtic, Peyton and Eli (just kidding, they suck). I'll stop there. I don't want to keep you in the Donnie Darko for too long. Last thing, the Zelda Triangle is the best offense in the world. Co-owners/coaches? Who's tied for the most rings? Red and the Philosopher King. I'd take either one. Phil, please, go rel(i)eve the Doc so we can get to the B-arden again. Please. I'd beg, but I already know you're doing it. You're just waiting for someone to coach. Take Luke with you if you want; thanks. And the Winter soldier's playbook, you know it, but maybe Gerald or Al don't. Thanks. See you on the court. Or um, courtside? I'm (we) are going to need two seats; at least. For me, my mate, and the holy ghost (of boston garden). Thanks. I've got a cheerleader/dancer squad for you too. Put your current BoB to shame. Trust me? Truth; I speak it. I don't believe it; but I'll try. The Believer? I read it; even if I don't get it. DEggers; thanks. Helz Belz; thanks. The Duke of Liz; thanks. Memorial Days; habits; memory days; thanks.

Good night; and yes, I'm finally sleeping -- even if it's somewhat coerced. See you in the morning.

i'm leaving you with a snippet of a long poem by harry mathews called "histoire." which for some reason, sums up my weekend perfectly.

tina and seth met in the midst of an overcrowded militarism.
"like a drink?" he asked her. "they make great alexanders over at the marxism-leninism."
she agreed. they shared cocktails. they behaved cautiously, as in a period of pre-fascism.
afterwards he suggested dinner at a restaurant renowed for its maoism.
"ok," she said, but first she had to phone a friend about her ailing afghan, whose name was racism.
then she followed seth across town past twilit alleys of sexism."
-histoire; um, tastes like a woman-
http://hyperwest.net/archives/anachronic/2002_10_01_anachronic_archive.html

We can do anything; One band, one sound; Bring it on; Swing kids, Swingers; hey world; you're about to get served. Game, set, match. I've got the best tennis player (left or right handed; wii or mii) on my side. And he can ping PONG all day long too. Feel the Sting-UltimateW pong? You don't even know.

Let us be one voice, for ______; let us be one voice; declaring your ________.
________ in me. Is to ________. female refrain (stars, stars, stars).
Thanks Gjn. Jewel of the C-dorm. Return to the dungeon corner. Stars on one boot; moon on the other; it's still there. Kick down the walls. You know? I hope you do. I-kao.

Really, sleeping now. Caretaker; wake up; turn off the tv man. It's too crazy to watch teleVISION now. Sleep.